NASCAR GPS: Turn left, turn left …
I run two GPS units simultaneously because they’re both squirrelly schizo in their own unique ways. Welcome to the skewed world of the GPS in my Samsung Instinct (Sprint) and my Rightway RW200 (first GPS by a new company).
Rightway also sells a Dale Earnhardt Jr. model. “Turn left, turn left, turn left …”
Some maps on my RW200 are so old that search results recently said, “See clay tablet in the library at Alexandria.”
The imaginary roads are also “diverting.” From downtown, the “quickest route” to my house sends me down a street behind my house. Suddenly the GPS says to turn. And that’s correct. Just drive through my neighbor’s backyard and a ravine. Voila, I’m in my own backyard, the spot on my baronial estate that’s closest to downtown. Too bad the driveway is on another street
Another antic: The phone’s GPS often begins with, “You are now off track.” Through gritted teeth I tell it, “I know. That’s why I turned on the GPS.”
Weaving among signal-blocking skyscrapers in downtown Chicago, the RW200 finally freezes with three maps layered onscreen. Or maybe it’s a guide to the 4th dimension.
Then the phone GPS says, “We’re doomed! Throw me out the window! Try to save yourself!”
Actually, it says something like, “You are seriously off course. The GPS is exiting.” I never hear the exact announcement because I always start declaiming the questionable traits of the GPS.
